Finding your purpose is not what you need to live a fulfilling life. It is in fact the opposite – not trying to find a purpose Deepshikha Dhankhar says in this motivational article.
You must have heard many people say, “Find your purpose” or you will waste your life. You must have even dwelled upon this magic wand yourself, thinking if ever you found your purpose, life would be so much easier and better. But this is no magic wand.
Why people chase after a purpose
For many of us, a life well lived is a life full of some sort of a purpose. We think we need a direction to put all our energies into and be motivated by this ‘purpose’, otherwise we will only leave this earth without doing anything significant in this world. It also comes from the fear of being judged, laughed at, ridiculed, labeled as ‘directionless’ and sometimes we make it essential to our existence that it must have some ‘meaning’.
What we are losing
We may travel from one end to the other and fabricate moments in a continuum in the hope of finding the purpose of our existence but little do we know that life itself is what we need to move ahead, not any purpose. When we do not find magic in the mundane, extraordinary in the ordinary and when life ceases to flow the way we want, we look for a string to hang onto till we get the familiar adrenaline rush or the self-motivation to do something. This way we are losing out on life itself. We are losing out on everyday moments, which are already filling our lives constantly with so much love, creativity, empathy and direction. If we looked at ‘today’ carefully enough, we will find what we need to cherish. When we stretch our mind and body in a quest for a life purpose, we reduce ourselves to beings that are constantly wandering in search of something unknown.
Why we look for the unknown
It is human nature to go after what we can’t have, even more so, to go after something we don’t know. Ever heard a strange voice in the middle of the night and thought of following it rather than sinking deeper into the pillow, and letting it be? We will never do that because we want to know more, we want to find out what else exists apart from our mortal flesh and skin. And when we can’t find it, we make it our life purpose to look for at anywhere it may reside, even if that’s our own mind. So, we move to mountains, abandon our homes, disconnect ourselves from people, and take a trip to nowhere. To do what? To find something, which might give us the meaning of our existence, not knowing that it lies within us. It is pounding at the sight of what fills our heart with delight and running through our mind subconsciously when we are not paying attention.
What we should rather do
Make today happen – We often live in the past or the future and have less knowledge of how to make today happen. Being constantly enveloped in worry, we are yet to find a way to fully be in the present day. Make yourself the person today who you would like to look at in the mirror and smile with love and compassion. Do not wish to be someone else; do not aspire to be something else. Do not waste time in thinking that after five years when you have found your purpose, you will be happier. Your happiness is not farfetched; it is here waving at you today!
Do not compromise your soul – There are things to compromise on, like a house – always in search of a bigger one, a job - always in search of a better one or a place to spend your next vacation; but you should not think of compromising ever on your truth and integrity. You know what keeps your spirit alive. Just keep doing it with all that you have got. After all, what else can define you better if not an active, shimmering and glossy flame of spirit captured within the emotions of life and soul? Don’t let anything dim it.
Don’t wait for thousand years to express – Be it creativity or emotion; it blossoms only when it is fully expressed. After all, what can suppressed creativity and emotion get you? You need to see yourself as a highly creative person even if you don’t believe this to be true, because you are, by every mean, creative. Honor the creative force within you, which has always been bursting to come forward. And every time it did so, you pushed it back just because you are not in the creative field of work or don’t fancy art or craft.
Don’t break yourself against your reality – Reality is something which is your and yours alone. Can you change it? Yes. Can you work against it? No. The only way to make your reality better is by not breaking yourself against what is. You might be in a job, family, relationship, place, or a country that you do not desire and never wanted, but beating yourself up against it or using ‘purpose’ as some sort of an escape from what lies in front of you is not how you make your reality better.
Rectify your relationship with money – For many of us, finding a purpose is finding a way to have more influx of financial abundance. What kind of beliefs, negative or positive, you hold against money today will define your relationship with it tomorrow. Money is not negative in itself, the way we deal with it or use it or see others use it makes it negative or positive. So, don’t hate someone if they have more money than you. They are doing so because they have healed their relationship with money and they believe that they deserve every bit of it, without having to find a purpose to justify it.
Let go of self-invalidation – Don’t invalidate yourself with “I can’t make a single decisions” or “I am such a mess”. It’s ok to be a mess sometimes, if only you saw what it’s trying to teach you. It’s ok to be indecisive sometimes. What is not ok is to question your abilities. You may not have all the answers but it doesn’t mean you can’t wait. You will unfold your reality as you journey through life everyday. It’s always a choice to either be in the grip of self-inflicted invalidation or set yourself free of any limiting beliefs you form about yourself on a day-to-day basis.
Don’t be addicted to ‘thinking’ – If there are any addictions to watch out for, one of them is the addiction to ‘thinking’. Aren’t we constantly thinking, talking to the self, strategizing, mantling and dismantling thoughts? And can’t really stop even if want to? Ever thought why this happened? Ironically, it won’t take much ‘thinking’ to understand that you are addicted to thinking itself. Your brain is always active, responsive, reactive, and more often than not wanders out of control. You simply can’t stop thinking! And this has become an addiction without you even realizing it. Stop being the victim of your thoughts, not each and every one of them need to be attended to. They will scream for attention when you try to neglect them the most, but that’s where it needs to stop. Let the un-necessary thoughts pass right in front of you like a wave. It will try to bash you at first but if you simply pull away, it will go un-noticed.
There is no purpose out there waiting for us to be explored. There are only unknown fantasies, which keep us away from living the life we have today, and doing the things we could do in the present moment. When we are looking for a purpose, we probably are not happy with our current life, thinking others have it sorted better, believing what we are doing is useless and nobody cares, implying we are nothing without a clearly defined purpose, and fighting what can bring us unlimited joy in the first place if we let it – today! So, go and live your life fully first before making it too complicated to comprehend. Know that whatever you are doing is the only way to make things and yourself better or at least use it as a catalyst for change. And believe that you are not bound by some definition of reality, if it is not yours, change it; if it is, there is no need for a purpose. You are already full of it!